laureNemchik

Once there was a little bug.  This bug had two sisters, but she liked to think she had three.  One day, her third, older bug “sister” found out she was going to have a teeny bug of her own.  So, the little bug began decorating for a party.  She decorated and decorated then got very hungry.  She took three trips to the crudite table, but she was still hungry.  Then the party began.

For her baby shower, Jessalyn decided to go with Eric Carle’s, “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” theme.  I dissected the story book and focused on the color and illustrations for the party.  Corkscrew grass was grown in aluminum bins for the centerpieces.  Inside the bins, I stuck pinwheels and wrote a different line from the book so that the whole room told the story.  Jessalyn of course sat at the table where the little ‘pillar became a beaut of a butterfly.  

Each table also had it’s own caterpillar.  I first used newspaper and masking tape to get the form.  Then, I covered each one with Plaster of Paris and decoupaged tissue paper over top.  (If you ever feel the urge to make your own caterpillar sculpture, I say to you: Patience, young grasshopper.  Make the plaster in small portions and don’t worry about completely covering each one…the tissue paper will clean up the messy work.)    

Much of the other decorations were hand-drawn or painted, sticking mostly to watercolor and pastel to match Carle’s illustrations.  Hand-painted jumbo-sized confetti was sprinkled at each table and rock candy added a little extra jazz.    

The end.

When I was eight years old, I gave an “acceptance speech” for some award at basketball practice.  Why a 3’ eight year old was given a basketball award, I cannot recall.  My guess would be Most Scrappiest Player.  Even more baffling, why did I (or was allowed to) give a speech?  I cringe at the thought of my overzealous midget self speaking to a slew of peers and parents.  Nevertheless, it happened.  Standing mid court, probably wearing Starter gear and really tomboy basketball shorts that had the netting sewn in the crotch, I milked the attention and thanked everyone but my mom.  The woman was there, she was always there, and I forgot to acknowledge her.  

This post is to make up for that evening that has been pulling at my guilt strings for 17 years.

Below is my tribute to you, Mom.  It won’t do you justice, it won’t rid me of my shame, and it certainly won’t be my last attempt at singing your praises. 

TOP TEN: What makes the Meem, THE Meem:

10)  One time in high school, my friend, Mike grew a mustache.  According to Mike,  Meem was the only one to notice.  Yes, my mom is observant.. and she clearly has a thing for facial fur (my dad has been sporting a piece since he met her).  

9)  My college roommates never had to buy holiday socks or pajama pants.  Meem fashioned for all occasions.

8.5)  Meem makes sure to shampoo the rugs of every apartment we move into.

8)  Meem once spent an hour outside of a McDonald’s trying to lure a stray dog into her car.  She even bought him a happy meal. 

7)  Meem tried to buy me a shirt with a big “69” on it.  My friend, Tony had to explain to her what “69” meant in the Junior section of the department store.  We were 13.  

6)  Meem would drive to Penn State just to take us grocery shopping then go back home.  Once, she came for the day to give us fried chicken and sew my roommate’s Cleopatra costume.  Penn State was, and still is, three hours away.

5.5)  I just can’t wash my hair like Meem can.

5)  Meem still crushes on Steven Tyler.  And still claims that Big Ten Inch is only about “a record”

4)  My sisters and I used to fake sick so we could crawl into bed with Meem and have her rub Vick’s under our noses.

3.5)  My mom used to wake up extra early to put the toothpaste on our toothbrushes and set up a “beauty shop” downstairs where she’d curl our mullets before school.

3)  When I leave for the weekend, I return to clean bed sheets and fresh flowers in my apartment.  

2)  Volleyball referees are apparently still asking for Meem’s pepperoni rolls at the concession stands.

1.5)  I owe my art spark, my passions, my everything to Meem’s encouragement, understanding, Valentine’s Day boxes, and damn good crafts in Girl Scouts 

1)  Meem gave me the sex and Santa talk all in one sitting

SINGING PRAISES: MEEM’S MOTHER’S DAY MIX 

• Styx - Lady
• The Temptations - My Girl
• Jet - Are You Gonna Be My Girl
• Aerosmith - I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing
• The Black Keys - Girl Is On My Mind
• Lenny Kravitz - I Belong To You
• Whitesnake - Give Me All Your Love Tonight
• Peter Frampton - Baby I Love Your Way
• Foreigner - I Don’t Want To Live Without You
• Hall & Oates - You Make My Dreams Come True
• Bread - Everything I Own
• Aerosmith - Big Ten Inch

Mustache Bonus Track:

• Queen - Killer Queen